Friday, December 03, 2010

Top 10 Reasons NOT to have the 2022 World Cup in Qatar

Ok i'm slowly getting over the fact that FIFA and Sepp Blatter are a bunch of corrupt bastards who will host the World Cup where they get paid the best. Its no different than the Olympics in reality. Yet I really thought the USA should have hosted the 2022 World Cup and the fact tiny Qatar got it really struck my nerve. So i have come up with a Top 10 list of reasons why it should not be in Qatar. If you do venture to go, there are things you must bring with you

10) Bring your patience. You think our TSA is bad? Qatar has one international airport and its too small so they are building a new bigger one to open in 2011. So if you think our airport delays are bad, for a country bordering Saudi Arabia home of a majority of the 9/11 hijackers we all should just be nudist to try to get through the airport.

9) Bring your own tent as we are all sleeping in the sand. As of 2009 from the official Qatar tourism website, there are 9800 hotel rooms in the COUNTRY. Lets compare that to the 75,000 rooms in NYC, 100,000 rooms in Las Vegas, heck even Orlando has 80,000 rooms. The Germany World Cup had 3 million visitors (myself included), and South Africa about 350,000. I don’t care how many hotels you build you are going to come up short.

8) Bring your own medical travel insurance. June 11th to July 11th period of 2010 that the world cup was held this past year the temperature in Qatar was UNDER 100 F (37C) Twice (july 4th, an July 8th) And 4 days in a row above 115(45C) degrees (June 18 – 21). Does anyone in the soccer world want a player to drop dead in the heat?

7) Bring your own bottled water. Drink water is more expensive than gasoline, which costs a whopping 22 cents a liter (that’s 83 cents a gallon for my metric challenged friends).

6) Bring your own gas mask. For all my tree hugging green friends out there, Qatar has the world highest CO2 emissions in the world at 55 tons per person in 2007. Look on the bright side its down from 64 tons per person in 2005. Oh btw the USA who is NOT in the Kyoto protocol is a nice 18 tons per person.

5) Bring your own Emancipation Proclamation. Of the reported 1.6 million person population, only 25% of those are natural born Qatari people. The United Nations along with the US State department have said that working condition for the immigrant non-citizens is akin to SLAVERY. As a black man living in America I’m very happy for the Emancipation Proclamation and 14th Amendment to the Constitution and Lyndon Johnson pushing the Civil Rights act some 100 year later.

4) Bring your own 11. The Qatar team SUCKS. It is currently rated 113 out of 205 teams in FIFA ranking, right between the powerhouses of Central African Republic and Thailand. I think if you bring your own 11, you can probably compete with the host country that is going to get the automatic birth.

3) Bring your own Burqa. Women don’t even bother to pack your cute outfits, the clothing of choice in Qatar is the full face Burqa, lets all dress up like Snake Eyes from G.I Joe. So we wont be having any fans looking like this.
Hot World Cup Fans
Hot World Cup Fans 2

2) Bring your own tissues. No Prostitution allowed. I thought it was the worlds oldest business and isn’t this part of the oldest region in the world? The garden of Eden is suppose to be right up the road in Modern Iraq. Ok not that I’m advocating the oldest business in the world, but come on Germany set up drive thru sex huts, I mean that is taking care of the needs of the drunk soccer fan after a tough loss right? In a country that has 2.46 men (aged 15-64 so all fair game) per woman what to do? Oh yeah bring your tissues. But then again if we were holding The World Cup based on male to female ratio it would be in Armenia with its great .88 Men to 1 women ratio and we could all be chasing the Kardashian sisters 4th cousins twice removed.
Kim Kardashian in a Tight Dress

And Number 1...

1) Bring your own booze. I love beer, there its said. While you can drink in Qatar if you are not Muslim and not in public, soccer and beer seem to go together. Every previous Host of the World Cup has brewed their own beer in the country and was proud to drink it.. lets go thru the list.
1930 Uruguay (Patricia),
1934 Italy (Peroni),
1938 France (Kronenbourg),
1950 Brazil (Brahma),
1954 Switzerland (Feldschlosschen),
1958 Sweden (Falcon, shite beer might be worse than british beer…),
1962 Chile( ChiCha is well I just love that name, Cristal is the most popular lager)
1966 England (Newcastle Brown Ale, not the most popular but I like it),
1970 Mexico (Corona, u get another chance in 86),
1974 Germany(Becks, but oh so many to choose from, u will get another chance),
1978 Argentina (Quilmes, I overdosed on this when I was in BsAs)
1982 Spain (Estrella is pretty good Damm Beer better than the on the street),
1986 Mexico ( Dos Equis the most interesting beer in the world),
1990 Italy (Moretti this time),
1994 United States of America (Budweiser, ughh still the most popular)
1998 France (u again love your Red Wine, but I’ll still have a Kronenbourg),
2002 Japan/South Korea (Ichiban means number 1 in Japanese, nuff said),
2006 Germany(oh I went to this one and drank everything you put in front of me, check the archives),
2010 South Africa (Black Label, I’ve sadly never drunk one of these)..
ok Qatar you got 12 years to start brewing you own beer and start a tradition….


Anonymous said...

you fool

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